Our microwave has an Evil setting

Sam: “Erin?  Do we really need to…”

Erin: “Yes.  Chocolate Cake is necessary.”

Sam: “Okay… but this recipe makes warm chocolate goo more than cake.  I mean, it’s delicious goo, but it’s not quite the same as…”

Erin: “…”

Sam: "Sorry."

Erin: “Yes you are.  Okay… I need an egg, 3 tablespoons of milk, 3 of vegetable oil, and a dash of vanilla extract.  Just throw them into that coffee mug I set out.”

Sam: “Check, check and… I don’t think we have that last one.”

Erin: “Sigh.  Fine.  Alright, then I need 3 tablespoons of flour, 4 tablespoons of sugar, 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder… and a whisk.   No, just toss the ingredients right into the mug.  That’s right. And a whisk…”

Sam: “I have a fork.  Will that work?”

Erin: “Close enough.  Okay… I think the dry stuff is mixed with the wet stuff… sort of.  We really need to find a whisk.  Now, chocolate chips.  The recipe says… 3 tablespoons?  That’s not nearly enough chocolate.  Just give me a handful.”

Sam: “Ooookay…”

Erin: “And mix!  Yay! Now, the recipe calls for us to cook our mug of chocolaty goo in a 1500 watt microwave for 2 minutes on high.  Is ours a 1500 watt microwave?”

Sam: “It’s in Korean, how’m I supposed to know?”

Erin: “I don’t see wattage listed in the manual… let’s take that one on faith.”

Sam: “You really want this cake, don’t you?”

Erin: “Shut up.  Okay, 2 minutes on high.  Which setting is high?”

Sam: “I’m not sure.  There are five power settings.  Here… get out our Korean dictionary.  Let’s try and translate these…”

Erin: “Brilliant!  Okay, first setting is 강.”

Sam: “I... that's ridiculous.”

Erin: “What?”

Sam: “Our dictionary says that means ‘river.’”

Erin: “What?  No!"

Sam: "Here, look."

Erin: "Huh! Wow."

Sam: “Let’s try the next one. 증”

Erin: “HAH!”

Sam: “What?”

Erin: “It says ‘Buddhist Monk!’”

Sam: “It does not!  That’s just stupid.  Here, gimme that... And, no, you are totally not lying.  Alright, screw this.  Let’s break out google translate on the computer.  Maybe that’ll work better.”

Erin: “Oh, good idea!  Okay… so 강 is… still river.  OH! But 증 is now ‘increased’ rather than Buddhist Monk.”

Sam: “Progress.”

Erin: “I KNOW!”

Sam:“Let’s try the next one.”

Erin: “It’s 악.”

Sam: “Umm, honey?”

Erin: “Yes?”

Sam: “That means ‘evil.’  Our microwave has an Evil setting.”

Erin: “Seriously?  Hey, no… it’s not 악, it’s 약.  TOTALLY different!  Okay…. Let’s see what that one means…”

Sam: “Medicine, apparently.”

Erin: “I’m not sure that’s an improvement.”

Sam: “Well, it’s probably healthier.  How bout the next one?”

Erin: “해동”

Sam: “Thaw.   HEY!  One that totally works!  SWEET!”

Erin: “Rock!  Okay, last one…보온”

Sam: “Umm, let’s see… Lagging or… Keep warm.  KEEP WARM!”

Erin: “Alright!  Two out of five ain’t too bad…”

Sam: “So, 2 minutes on high… is that ‘evil’ or ‘buddhist monk,’ do you think?”

Erin: “I think we need an oven.”


ps.  We totally just bought an oven.

Our new oven!
Our new oven!

p.p.s.  You can follow the directions in the post to make your very own microwave chocolate cake.  It is considerably more appetizing than I make it sound, though it isn't quite the same as actual, baked in the oven cake.  Still, for something that takes an average of 5 minutes, it's pretty darn good.